My New Life

So it's been a while since I've posted here and I think it's about time I start getting on this thing at least once a week. Lately my life has changed in quite a few ways and writing makes me feel a little better about life and my decisions. To share with others what I think and feel and in turn get your response on my thoughts. Oh well....We'll just see how this goes....Enjoy!

J

the joy in your few days of sorry that made me desire to know more about the joy that gently smiled through tears he couldn't hide
the angel in me shone bright to form a connection that will be an everlasting bond between the souls of ones both grieved but a fond love and job created
to replace the missed
to multiply
and form more of a passion
to know and yearn for life to share in

deeper

deeper than any hole
a deeper understanding of how something so deep
can be free and hurtful at the same time
it calms and soothes the biggest bruises
simple enough but complex beyond some of
the easiest principle given to mankind but
yet made so hard dealing with different types of heartaches and pain
sunshine and rain
it devotes so much inner being and yet isn't taken as serious
as it should be
commonly written about
rarely lived by those who say and say they feel its real

july 05

cv moon cv

that moon
shines bright high above the tree
glowing on the body so heavenly
never so beautiful and bright
did the revelation of my life
move from behind the branches
as a mask only to reveal
the true feeling of life & love
that moment
shone bright
through the tree beyond
what should have been days brough out of me
a feeling never to be felt again by me
but a knowing of my feelings value and how life's suppose to be

lady j

My Quote

"The value of my friendships are worth far more than I can afford."

"Lady J"

Thoughts....

i never thought I would be so in love that I couldn't see clearly. It was the day KG was so into me that Ijust couldn't see past what he was really after. Yea I believe that to a certain extent that he cared, just a little bit. I never thought I would go to work everyday and take the money I made to pay for dates, buy my boyfriend's lunch, give him money to get to the corner store or give him $5.00, I'm sure was used to pay his homeboy back. Yea stupidly I did all those things and more just to make sure he would love me and prove that I was his girlfriend, the best girlfriend a guy could have. Only for him to betray me, talk about me, cheat on me, use me, and treat me like the scum on the bottom of his shoe. It wasn't until after KG that I realized I was worth more than gold, rubies and diamonds. Now I see! Never again will it be me..................

the sound of that kiss

Never imagined one would miss
the sound of a kiss
the scent of lovemaking mixed with a fresh car scent
the smell of a sweaty man
or the feel of his rough hand caressing my thigh up and down
missing that touch that made me----------------
that whisper in my ear that removed all fear from my heart mind and soul
with the assurance that I wouldn't have miss all the things I fell in love with----
all beginning with the sound of that kiss

Tree

It begins at the root, or better yet the seed. A small inkling of something with the curiosity of where it will lead. It bursts then with roots going every which way. Bursting out tears, fears, joy, excitement the biggest being Life. Going different directions eager to burst through earth and form something bigger for the world to see. The outside old and rugged yet the inside full of juicy proofs or rings, Life. Morals, integrity and the ability to form a pattern and become something greater than just what the world sees. The rings of knowledge and falling leaves of growth. The enrichment of lives and forming of trees.

08/05/05

04.August.05

terrible feeling
violation of pureness
infected with disgust beyond imagination
fear of the unclean
unknowing of the cure
clueless of what was thought to be sacred
knowing shared beyond yourself
only to see what was actual
somewhere beyond what was actual
now factual with the test
when at your best beyond sight
not to know how the page will turn
happy somewhat fairy tale ending
or hell on earth with the rememberence of that
terrible feeling

No Title

It was that day the response of my dreams came, unknowing that the invitation of a lifetime would turn into a dream come true
The best friend a woman could ever have hella kool hella sexy and hella smart
I thought the few secs it took to write that note was as long as he would pay me some attention but all that has infinitied beyond my imagination
all more than would I could ever think or dream
My life a living person who is everything I ever wanted in a friend, a man and so much more
Why is it all the good men have to be taken?
Taken by the worlds thoughts and dreams overlooking what may be their dream and their thoughts. The best thing that God created for man.

Tree Hugger

While walking through the Northern California woods a man came up toanother man hugging a tree with his ear firmly against the tree.Seeingthis he inquired, "Just out of curiosity, what the heck are you doing?""I'mlistening to the music of the tree," the other man replied. "You gotta bekiddin' me." "No, would you like to give it a try?" Understandablycurious,the man says, "Well, OK. . . ." So he wrapped his arms around the treeandpressed his ear up against it. With this the other guy slapped pairofhandcuffs on him, took his wallet, jewelry, car keys, then strippedhimnaked and left. Two hours later another nature lover strolled by, sawthisguy handcuffed to the tree stark naked, and asked "What the hellhappenedto you?" He told the guy the whole story about how he got there. Whenhefinished telling his story, the other guy shook his head in sympathy,walkedaround behind him, kissed him behind the ear and said, "This justisn'tgonna be your day."--

A Favor to Ask

Please tell ten friends to tell ten today! The Breast Cancer site is>having trouble getting enough people to click on it daily to meet their quota of donating at least one free mammogram a day to an underprivileged woman. It takes less than a minute to go to! their site and click on "donating a mammogram" for free (pink window in the middle). This doesn't cost you a thing. Their corporate sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate mammogram in exchange for advertising. Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know.

http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/

AGAIN, PLEASE TELL 10 FRIENDS TO TELL 10 TODAY

"Swearing @ Work" Memo

Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their coworkers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with coworkers. Therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.

1) TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.
2) TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a ball-busting b__ch.
3) TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?
4) TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f______ way.
5) TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh__ing me!
6) TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.
7) TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my f______ problem.
8) TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f___?
9) TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.
10) TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that
INSTEAD OF: Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?
11) TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.
12) TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.
13) TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.
14) TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F___ it, I'm on salary.
15) TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.
16) TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This job sucks.
17) TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the hell died and made you boss?
18) TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a d___k.

Thank You,

Human Resources

Life's lesson No.1

There once was a bunch of tiny frogs, ..who arranged a running competition. The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower. A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants... The race began... Honestly...No one in the crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower. You heard statements such as: "Oh, WAY too difficult!!!" They will NEVER make it to the top!!!" or: "Not a chance that they will succeed. The tower is too high!!!" The tiny frogs began collapsing. One by one...Except for those, who in a fresh tempo, were climbing higher and higher... The crowd continued to yell, "It is too difficult!!! No one will make it!!!" More tiny frogs got tired and gave up...But ONE continued higher and higher and higher... This one wouldn't give up!!! At the end everyone else had given up climbing the tower. Except for the one tiny frog who, after a big effort, was the only one who reached the top! THEN all of the other tiny frogs naturally wanted to know how this one frog managed to do it? A contestant asked the tiny frog how he had found the strength to succeed and reach the goal? It turned out...That the winner was DEAF!!! The wisdom of this story is: NEVER listen to other people's tendencies to be negative or pessimistic... Because they take your most wonderful dreams and wishes away from you...the ones you have in your heart!!! Always think of the power words have. Because everything you hear and read will affect your actions!!! Therefore: ALWAYS be...POSITIVE!!! And above all: Be DEAF when people tell YOU that you can not fulfill your dreams!!! Always think: God and I can do this!!! Pass this message on to 5 "tiny frogs"you care about. Give them some motivation!!! Don't tell GOD how Big your storm is. Tell the storm how Big your GOD is!

Interesting Pic

I thought this was quite interesting!

A little Laugh!

A man and his wife were working in their garden one day and the man
looks over at his wife and said, "Your butt is getting really big, I mean
really big. I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue." With that he
proceeded to get a measuring tape and measure the grill and then went
over to where his wife was working and measured his wife's bottom. "Yes,
I was right, your butt is two inches wider than the barbecue!!!"
The woman chose to ignore her husband. Later that night in bed,
the husband is feeling a little frisky. He makes some advances towards
his wife who completely brushes him off. " What's wrong?" he asks.
She answers, "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for
one little weenie?"

HANDY LITTLE CHART

You say: "It's impossible" God says: All things are possible (Luke 18:27)

You say: "I'm too tired" God says: I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28-30)

You say: "Nobody really loves me" God says: I love you (John 3:16 & John 3:34 )

You say: "I can't go on" God says: My grace is sufficient (II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)

You say: "I can't figure things out" God says: I will direct your steps (Proverbs 3:5-6)

You say: "I can't do it" God says: You can do all things (Philippians 4:13)

You say: "I'm not able" God says: I am able (II Corinthians 9:8)

You say: "It's not worth it" God says: It will be worth it (Roman 8:28 )

You say: "I can't forgive myself" God says: I Forgive you I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)

You say: "I can't manage" God says: I will supply all your needs (Philippians 4:19)

You say: "I'm afraid" God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear (II Timothy 1:7)

You say: "I'm always worried and frustrated" God says: Cast all your cares on ME (I Peter 5:7)

You say: "I'm not smart enough" God says: I give you wisdom (I Corinthians 1:30)

You say: "I feel all alone" God says: I will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5)

CHINESE PROVERBS

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Man who run in front of car get tired.
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Man who run behind car get exhausted.
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Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
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Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
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Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
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War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
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Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
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Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
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It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
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Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
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Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
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Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
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Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
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Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
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Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
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Who Am I?

I wonder each and everyday about the person I am, honestly I don't know. Suprising huh? I know who God says I am but I often wonder if I deserve to be that which he wants me to be
I wake up each day going through the motion because that's the only thing I seem to know, but beyond that nothing makes sense to me.
I know God has a purpose and a plan for my life but it just isn't coming as simple as I think it should.
It's funny how we each have things we love to do, movies we love to see, favorite songs, colors, books and holidays but I have come to realize yes that some of those things set us apart being different as individuals and yet the same as others but non of this defines or says exactly who we are--again who am I?
I can say what I want to be or how I want to be but the reality of it all is I don't have much of a decision as far as all of that is concerned. I have only to decide what I'm going to dress this earthly body in each day. The ultimate decision and plan has already been made, despite the roads I detour to. It's already been made but still, who Am I?

Consistency

I don't have much to say today. I have had a pounding headache and haven't been able to do much today but lay in my bed and rest. Maybe this is my body's way of telling me that I need to just sit down and do NOTHING! I want to continue to Blog though because it's been brought to my attention that I do have some people who read regularly and they noticed when I went a few days without leaving a word here. So here's for today. I am thinking of something new to write about in my head and hopefully I can complete it tonight and get it here so that you guys can read it. Until the next piece...Peace
~*~Jasmine~*~