deeper

deeper than any hole
a deeper understanding of how something so deep
can be free and hurtful at the same time
it calms and soothes the biggest bruises
simple enough but complex beyond some of
the easiest principle given to mankind but
yet made so hard dealing with different types of heartaches and pain
sunshine and rain
it devotes so much inner being and yet isn't taken as serious
as it should be
commonly written about
rarely lived by those who say and say they feel its real

july 05

cv moon cv

that moon
shines bright high above the tree
glowing on the body so heavenly
never so beautiful and bright
did the revelation of my life
move from behind the branches
as a mask only to reveal
the true feeling of life & love
that moment
shone bright
through the tree beyond
what should have been days brough out of me
a feeling never to be felt again by me
but a knowing of my feelings value and how life's suppose to be

lady j

My Quote

"The value of my friendships are worth far more than I can afford."

"Lady J"

Thoughts....

i never thought I would be so in love that I couldn't see clearly. It was the day KG was so into me that Ijust couldn't see past what he was really after. Yea I believe that to a certain extent that he cared, just a little bit. I never thought I would go to work everyday and take the money I made to pay for dates, buy my boyfriend's lunch, give him money to get to the corner store or give him $5.00, I'm sure was used to pay his homeboy back. Yea stupidly I did all those things and more just to make sure he would love me and prove that I was his girlfriend, the best girlfriend a guy could have. Only for him to betray me, talk about me, cheat on me, use me, and treat me like the scum on the bottom of his shoe. It wasn't until after KG that I realized I was worth more than gold, rubies and diamonds. Now I see! Never again will it be me..................

the sound of that kiss

Never imagined one would miss
the sound of a kiss
the scent of lovemaking mixed with a fresh car scent
the smell of a sweaty man
or the feel of his rough hand caressing my thigh up and down
missing that touch that made me----------------
that whisper in my ear that removed all fear from my heart mind and soul
with the assurance that I wouldn't have miss all the things I fell in love with----
all beginning with the sound of that kiss

Tree

It begins at the root, or better yet the seed. A small inkling of something with the curiosity of where it will lead. It bursts then with roots going every which way. Bursting out tears, fears, joy, excitement the biggest being Life. Going different directions eager to burst through earth and form something bigger for the world to see. The outside old and rugged yet the inside full of juicy proofs or rings, Life. Morals, integrity and the ability to form a pattern and become something greater than just what the world sees. The rings of knowledge and falling leaves of growth. The enrichment of lives and forming of trees.

08/05/05

04.August.05

terrible feeling
violation of pureness
infected with disgust beyond imagination
fear of the unclean
unknowing of the cure
clueless of what was thought to be sacred
knowing shared beyond yourself
only to see what was actual
somewhere beyond what was actual
now factual with the test
when at your best beyond sight
not to know how the page will turn
happy somewhat fairy tale ending
or hell on earth with the rememberence of that
terrible feeling