An Ending I’ll Never Forget

Growing up as a young child I was always a favorite of my mother and her side of the family
Because I didn’t have the likings of my father’s side I never really fit into their country, ghetto ways of which I didn’t really want to associate self with
Which led self to the bottom of the grandchild totem pole to slave like Cinderella to get only a payment of a dollar in return
Not that I had an evil step sister but a well liked blood sister who looked walked smelled and had my grandmother’s being
Chick didn’t have to do a thang but eat sleep and be merry unlike I Cinderella who had to pray on the day my fairy godmother would come and save me from this favoritism madness

If I didn’t call to say hello, I was the evil stuck up grandchild who just didn’t have time for her grandmother
If I didn’t run to her rescue at the drop of a dime I was the lazy grandchild who didn’t do anything she was asked of
If I didn’t wake up in the middle of the night at her every beck and sick call I was the grandchild who was going miss her or better yet not care when the rolled her out of this world
Years of unspoken relationship regretted by I wanting to be the better person I ended it after a new life was born into the family

The favoritism begins again
To my advantage this time because I bore a beautiful high yellow fine baby that she adored
A bond we then began to share all because of my seed, she loved her
In her last days she continuously called for us to come and see her and spend time with her and with no hesitation did I think twice because all attention I once wanted from her was beginning to be surreal
I took it as it came, whether she wanted me to be her slave or her roommate I did it all just to have her attention that I always wanted

To clear things up the moment she left I never thought she wouldn’t return
Her home became the a room away from home and when everything began to look up is when it all began to turn for the worse
Now the fine baby really never paid her any attention until her last days
It was the last day that she sat in her arms without a fuss or moan but only in peace as a new born lamb laying under his mother
It was at that moment that I knew that I would be the one to miss her when they rolled her out of this world
At that moment it began to hurt
All the bonding we’d mended over the past 6 months was just getting to where I wanted it to be but all of a sudden it ended

After my early morning class I heard my inner voice say that it was nearing the end
At that sound I knew that I couldn’t go on with my day without saying my own personal goodbyes because I knew that in my heart I didn’t have long
Alone I stood in the final resting place and like a zombie she barely looked at me
At some point she was trying to tell me something but it was at that moment I began to say it’s ok
All is well, I’m sorry, it’s your time and whatever else that came to mind
All of me wanted her there for me to see me finish and be the success that she always wanted me to be but for all the 17 years of my life I only knew the bed stricken grandmother and nothing more
I accepted it
The end came to no surprise for me, the staff tried lying to me to get me home safely but on the way home I heard that inner voice again say
It’s over
Walking to the door I blacked out fainted lost consciousness hell an outer body experience because it was the confirmation from my mother that I wasn’t ready for
But then again I thought the preparation of our final meeting had prepared me but yet I still have trouble 5 years later dealing with
The ending I’ll never forget

Nebraska State Senator Sues God

Just when I thought things couldn't get any more crazier, I came across this. True evidence of us being in the last days........He apparently doesn't have enough to do in the Senate.

By NATE JENKINS Associated Press Writer

LINCOLN, Neb. (AP) -- The defendant in a state senator's lawsuit is accused of causing untold death and horror and threatening to cause more still. He can be sued in Douglas County, the legislator claims, because He's everywhere.

State Sen. Ernie Chambers sued God last week. Angered by another lawsuit he considers frivolous, Chambers says he's trying to make the point that anybody can file a lawsuit against anybody.

Chambers says in his lawsuit that God has made terroristic threats against the senator and his constituents, inspired fear and caused "widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants."

The Omaha senator, who skips morning prayers during the legislative session and often criticizes Christians, also says God has caused "fearsome floods ... horrendous hurricanes, terrifying tornadoes."

He's seeking a permanent injunction against the Almighty.
Chambers said the lawsuit was triggered by a federal suit filed against a judge who recently barred words such as "rape" and "victim" from a sexual assault trial.

The accuser in the criminal case, Tory Bowen, sued Lancaster District Judge Jeffre Cheuvront, claiming that he violated her free speech rights.

Chambers said Bowen's lawsuit is inappropriate because the Nebraska Supreme Court has already considered the case and federal courts follow the decisions of state supreme courts on state matters.

"This lawsuit having been filed and being of such questionable merit creates a circumstance where my lawsuit is appropriately filed," Chambers said. "People might call it frivolous but if they read it they'll see there are very serious issues I have raised."

U.S. District Judge Richard Kopf, in an order last week, expressed doubts about whether Bowen's lawsuit "has any legal basis whatsoever" and said sanctions may be imposed against Bowen and her attorneys if they fail to show cause for the lawsuit.

The Associated Press usually does not identify accusers in sex-assault cases, but Bowen has allowed her name to be used publicly because of the issue over the judge's language restrictions.

Cheuvront declared a mistrial in the sexual assault trial in July, saying pretrial publicity made it impossible to gather enough impartial jurors.

The Way I feel about MY LiFe. . .

Thanks Cleansing Your Thoughts for posting this......

"I wouldn't change anything because everything that happened has happened for a reason and has helped me get to where I'm at now"

Unknown

Maybe I have to go through....

the same situation to understand it...


In the past few years of my life, due to my teenage experiences and seeing the society that the young women of today are growing up in, I've developed this soft place in my heart for mentoring young girls who've grown up with various personal issues in their lives. Now, growing up as a teenage girl with low self-esteem and a need of attention I placed myself into some situations that could have been avoided. Now as I look back at them I'm grateful that I experienced certain things and made it through unharmed. I've learned that many young girls haven't been as fortunate as I have and a lot of them weren't put in those situations because they allowed themselves to but because they had no control of their lives or environments.

I have this little project....we'll call her Project C. I met Project C about 6 months ago and immediately took a liking to her and her sweet spirit. She took a liking to me as well and began to open up to me and let me know her inner most life secrets, fears, traumas and family situations. She comes from a situation where both parents have been of no benefit to her, ONLY HARM but she has the love and nurturing of a close family member who loves her and gives her he world. Now, if I were Project C I would be taking full advantage of that love, attention and lavish lifestyle that she's getting....but Noooooooooo!!! She wants to go back to a lifestyle of harm and hurt.

I feel kind of bad because I haven't talked with her in about two months but the last time her loved one contacted me, she gave me rave reviews on Project C and said that things were going great with her at home. I was so proud and I continued to let her know that anytime she needed me, I would be there. Well this morning, I went to get me a Mt. Dew to get my swagger going and I saw the loved one in tears. I work at a place where at any given moment you can see anyone you know and theY could be around for any type of family situation you can think of. The loved one was distraught. She began to pour her heart out to me and let me know that things weren't ok anymore....

Now I guess I'll never understand because I haven't had any TRUE TRARAMATIC experiences in my life. I've heard that Project C wants to go back to the horrific life that she had with her Father. Why? Obviously she's very unappreciative of the "new" life that she has and she doesn't like structure from the sounds of it.....Maybe I can listen to her and help her to reason with herself. I think I'm going to call her today and maybe take her to dinner tomorrow. Pick up where I left off........I don't want to preach to her but I want to listen and see what's going on with her brain......maybe with her listening to herself will show her that she doesn't need to open up old wounds only to let them get all infected and torn up again.......

Jas's Weekend Sports Review of My Fav Teams...

In my beginning years of life, the only things that were known to me were family, education and SPORTS!!!! Growing up the daughter of a sports fanatic it became a huge part of my life. There was never a dull weekend for me. Each season of sports my Dad did something in relation to it. Football season, he coached football; softball season, he played on a local softball team, basketball season, he referees so it just never ends with him. Now the basis for this intro comes to my favorite sport being football. I get very excited about football season as well as the other citizens and residents of the State of Alabama. Whether it's little league, high school or college football. On to my weekend sports review of my favorite teams....

I am still a huge fan of my high school football team and I tend to follow their football season pretty good and attend their games. This year our rival team game came very early in the year. It was the second game in the season. We have transitioned once again to a new coach and apparently he hasn't realized how important winning the game against the school 5 minutes away from us is. Not only is the school down the street and around the corner but their present football coach is our former football coach that led us to a State Championshop Victory. For the past 4 years, we have won. This year's t-shirt's slogan was, "Fear the thumb." Well apparently this year they had nothing to fear. They beat us by two points. Our defense was tired and the offense ran the same play throughout the entire game. Enough of that, I'm getting mad all over again...ugh...
http://www.al.com/sports/birminghamnews/index.ssf?/base/sports/1189240774107990.xml&coll=2

Now for my favorite college football team. Living in the state of Alabama you grow up being a fan of either Alabama or Auburn. Well in my path of growing up my parents were Auburn fans and I also grew to be a fan as well. Well here lately,they have been a disappointment as well. We started off the season last week barely with a win. This week we go into overtime against S. Florida and LOSE 26-23!!!! Ughh.....MAD!!!!!
http://blog.al.com/goldmine/

Now for the NFL season opener between the Colts and the Saints!!! It's was a wonderful night. The Colts did not disappoint me one bit. I have to admit that the first quarter of the game I was a little worried but once we got in our groove, it didn't stop. The opened the season with a 41-10 win over the Saints. I don't think there is much more I can say about that. The score speaks for itself.
http://www.colts.com/sub.cfm?page=article7&news_id=5bbb9438-579e-4f47-a4e2-0ebd6f6adb7e

In my CD Player...

I think this CD is a must have to your collection! Chrisette Michelle is an artist who makes me realize that there is still good music to be made. Her unique voice and eclectic sound makes you want more!!!

Other Familiar songs that she's been featured in include:

Jay Z's "Lost One

Nas's "Can't Forget About You

In addition to buying the CD you must see her in concert. This weekend I saw her open up for MusiqSoulchild and I really enjoyed her performance. As I've said before, her voice is amazing. The studio is doing NO work for her. It's all genuine. Her performance really put me in the mood for love. If she's coming your way be sure to check her out!!! If not, you'll miss a treat. . .

Quote....

Every now and again I may come across a quote that I would like to share; here is one for you.

"To carry a grudge is like being stung to death by one bee."
God is Love
Rev Run

My Friend has Read me...

Here lately I've been feeling a bit out of place in my life and in my relationships. I've had friends that I've been around for a long time but I feel as if I don't fit in anymore. One of my dear and close friends who I hang out with all the time has really paid attention to me and figured out my feelings. When I read this it was like reading what I would have written to a tee. I was telling him about how much he's brought out of me in the past year and I was thanking him for helping me grow and these are his thoughts...

"I continue to see even more in you. It's funny too because it's almost like you are caught in between. And maybe I am biased or just am way off base and have no idea what I am talking about, but it's like in the past year you have outgrown your girls - who you normally kick it with and they are still in a mind set of where you were last year. Not saying it is due to me - but I think because of a lot that we have done together in this past year - plus your already high level of maturity, you have just started to reach your true potentials. And I think you know you are just at another level right now....and I think that confuses you too. Dont want to leave the group behind - nor do you have a new group so to speak to run with - so you kinda stuck in the middle. Doing things with the old just to maintain relationships (I am not saying at all that they are not good - just that the interests are so different) but still searching for newer things to accomodate your growth."

He couldn't have said it any more perfectly than I could have...

So behind...

I'm so far behind on my blogging more than I really want to be. I've been anxious to sit down and write but haven't had much time lately. After a long weekend, being tired and not having anything to do at work right now I figured I could conjure up one or two things to write about. In the past few weeks so many things have happened in my life. I've realized that every time I've tried to further myself and accomplish a goal that's when everything that could go wrong goes wrong. As my grandmother used to say, "If it ain't one thing it's two." I anxiously decided that I was going to get back in school to finish my undergraduate degree. I wanted to wait until January but I just couldn't help myself. In the midst of my decision, I knew that I would have to somehow come up with a few hundred dollars to pay my tuition and I was prepared for that. Right when that time came along, something else came up and I ended up having to come up with money for tuition & something that unexpectantly came up. Depressed I awas because my motivation was all gone but the inner man inside of me didn't let me give up and I'm glad that it didn't. After being dropped from the class for non-payment I went through tons of trouble to get added back to the class but my inner determination never let me give up. Now I'm another class toward a degree. . . . .