An Ending I’ll Never Forget

Growing up as a young child I was always a favorite of my mother and her side of the family
Because I didn’t have the likings of my father’s side I never really fit into their country, ghetto ways of which I didn’t really want to associate self with
Which led self to the bottom of the grandchild totem pole to slave like Cinderella to get only a payment of a dollar in return
Not that I had an evil step sister but a well liked blood sister who looked walked smelled and had my grandmother’s being
Chick didn’t have to do a thang but eat sleep and be merry unlike I Cinderella who had to pray on the day my fairy godmother would come and save me from this favoritism madness

If I didn’t call to say hello, I was the evil stuck up grandchild who just didn’t have time for her grandmother
If I didn’t run to her rescue at the drop of a dime I was the lazy grandchild who didn’t do anything she was asked of
If I didn’t wake up in the middle of the night at her every beck and sick call I was the grandchild who was going miss her or better yet not care when the rolled her out of this world
Years of unspoken relationship regretted by I wanting to be the better person I ended it after a new life was born into the family

The favoritism begins again
To my advantage this time because I bore a beautiful high yellow fine baby that she adored
A bond we then began to share all because of my seed, she loved her
In her last days she continuously called for us to come and see her and spend time with her and with no hesitation did I think twice because all attention I once wanted from her was beginning to be surreal
I took it as it came, whether she wanted me to be her slave or her roommate I did it all just to have her attention that I always wanted

To clear things up the moment she left I never thought she wouldn’t return
Her home became the a room away from home and when everything began to look up is when it all began to turn for the worse
Now the fine baby really never paid her any attention until her last days
It was the last day that she sat in her arms without a fuss or moan but only in peace as a new born lamb laying under his mother
It was at that moment that I knew that I would be the one to miss her when they rolled her out of this world
At that moment it began to hurt
All the bonding we’d mended over the past 6 months was just getting to where I wanted it to be but all of a sudden it ended

After my early morning class I heard my inner voice say that it was nearing the end
At that sound I knew that I couldn’t go on with my day without saying my own personal goodbyes because I knew that in my heart I didn’t have long
Alone I stood in the final resting place and like a zombie she barely looked at me
At some point she was trying to tell me something but it was at that moment I began to say it’s ok
All is well, I’m sorry, it’s your time and whatever else that came to mind
All of me wanted her there for me to see me finish and be the success that she always wanted me to be but for all the 17 years of my life I only knew the bed stricken grandmother and nothing more
I accepted it
The end came to no surprise for me, the staff tried lying to me to get me home safely but on the way home I heard that inner voice again say
It’s over
Walking to the door I blacked out fainted lost consciousness hell an outer body experience because it was the confirmation from my mother that I wasn’t ready for
But then again I thought the preparation of our final meeting had prepared me but yet I still have trouble 5 years later dealing with
The ending I’ll never forget